If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
