Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
