Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
