You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
