margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
