you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
