I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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