Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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