so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
