yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize