Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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