so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
