I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
