the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize