so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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