ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
