Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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