If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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