you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
