dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
