New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
