I want to walk on stilts...naked
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
