Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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