What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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