It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
