he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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