we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
