I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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