How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
