Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
