Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
