I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize