my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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