You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
