Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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