Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
