Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize