laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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