420 ftw
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
