I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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