I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Found your dick twin last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
