i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
