Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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