how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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