No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
