Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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