She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
