i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
