There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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