sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
