his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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