Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize