We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
