Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
