I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
