if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
