I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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