Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
