Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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