So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
