I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
