Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
