How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
