And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
