You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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