matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
