I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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