Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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