thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You need Xanax blowdarts
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
