Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
