Christians are straight up FREAKS
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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