I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
