when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize