omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're a waste of cheezeits
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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