I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
