...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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