when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
