Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
